I’ve always kinda liked the Charlie Sheen quote and never even considered that some find it offensive

I hadn’t either (except in the limited sense of getting tiresome when it was used too often). Many ladies quoted it as well, and the way I interpreted it earlier — that clients did not want the entanglement of a “relationship” with the ladies — seemed something most people were in complete agreement. It never would have occurred to me to question it if I hadn’t run across some of the negative comments about it.

And quite probably most escorts are not offended by it.

But, I’ve always kinda liked the Charlie Sheen quote and never even considered that some find it offensive. Learned something new.

Thanks for stopping for and for your comments!

Phasing out of escorting for a mainstream relationship could also be socially isolating. Would he be comfortable with her hanging out with other escorts? Exchanging holiday cards with former patrons?

That’s an interesting perspective/question. Of course, the answer may be different for everyone. I think that if I were in that situation I would be OK with some degree of continuing interaction. I would not feel threatened by escort friends, assuming that it would not tempt her to return to the lifestyle. (see below) With respect to former patrons, that might be OK as well under some circumstances. I think of a former ATF, for example, and know that there were another couple of clients of whom she was very fond. Calling or emailing them occasionally, maybe getting together for lunch or coffee? Yes, I think I would be OK with that. Of course, if it were 30 former patrons she was staying in contact with, I might react differently.

I think it’s possible to play both fields (escort and have a mainstream boyfriend), if both are secure in the boundaries of her paid relationships. Intimacy takes many forms, and I do not believe that you can compare that incredible love found in longterm cohabiting relationships with the thrilling intimacy of a few hour fling or even the illicit intimacy of a longterm affair. I don’t see these relations as being in opposition to eachother, but rather complimenting the other relationships and helping one get thru various phases of life and emotions.

I think that would work for some people; I’m not sure that it would for me. I liken it to a relationship where P4P is not and never was involved. If I had a longterm cohabiting relationship, would I be bothered if my SO had “the thrilling intimacy of a few hour fling” or “the illicit intimacy of a longterm affair”? I suppose there might be circumstances under which I would be OK with that, but it’s hard to imagine. From socialization or whatever source, I think of the “intimacy” — as opposed to the sex per se — as competition. Perhaps that means I’m insecure. (And, yes, I know this attitude is inconsistent with my participation in P4P while married. It’s not something I’m proud of and I feel guilt over it.)

In P4P, it would be easier to accept if the “intimacy” did not involve more than a very superficial emotional connection. I might be able to accept that if I met her other than as one of her patrons. (But if I met her as one of her patrons and she offered nothing more than a very superficial emotional connection . . . I suspect I would not be attracted to her for a long-term relationship in the first-place.)

This sort of issue is an emotional minefield, and everyone takes a different path through it. Not only might my path be different from yours, but it’s exceptionally difficult to really know what path I would take through the minefield before I actually started across. Until then, I’m just hypothesizing and might feel very differently if it ever actually came up. Which it won’t.

Thanks again for stopping by and adding some thought-provoking comments!

I could see that, if a woman escorted for very long, that companionship may become part of her identity. I think of escorting similarly to being a professional athlete. Playing ball is not the only thing that a professional ball player gives up when he leaves the sport.

If I met someone and even if I got into that situation of 6 months living expenses paid etcetera… I would still want to communicate and socialize with a very few I’ve met in this world. Assuming I stay escorting for the next few years, and become close enough to a patron or two who give me the guidance and references to return to grad school (I’ve already had 2 offers for help with this)… those guys, even if I never see them as patrons again, have entered my mainstream life in meaningful ways. Would a boyfriend be completely okay with these unique friendships?

I think it’s possible to play both fields (escort and have a mainstream boyfriend), if both are secure in the boundaries of her paid relationships. Intimacy takes many forms, and I do not believe that you can compare that incredible love found in longterm cohabiting relationships with the thrilling intimacy of a few hour fling or even the illicit intimacy of a longterm affair. I don’t see these relations as being in opposition to eachother, but rather complimenting the other relationships and helping one get thru various phases of life and emotions.

Just my 2 cents…

seen many rumblings around in the austin forums about corruption in the staff. a provider named karma has come forward publicly and alleged abuse of power at the hands of the former admin staff.

Now that I’ve gone back and tracked down the allegations by karmaofaustin — which mostly seem to involve non-staff abusing ladies and the staff “protecting” those guys by not allowing those abuses to be reported — and the support by whispers (one of the “old guard”) and the reaction by a moderator . . . I think it will be looked into. I don’t know whether in the end there will be sufficient evidence to bring it to the membership, but it sounds as though: (a) there are people with first-hand knowledge willing to come forward and name names; and (b) the current staff will take it seriously.

For now, wait to see.

Lets hope deuce gets to the bottom of these reports of staff abuse.

I’m not sure how much time he would have, given everything else that needs to be done. And “getting to the bottom” of such reports is not easy. They often don’t even come from those with first-hand knowledge, and therefore are neither inherently credible nor easy to investigate. A year or so ago, tysteel offered what evidence he had concerning some abuses to Deuce, who found it essentially unsubstantiated, without sufficient merit to warrant even publicly mentioning it. That’s not to say that there was no abuse, but neither was there enough to meet a minimum threshold for making public allegations.

i wonder how tysteel would then be viewed by the P4P community if his accusations against CK and his friends turn out to be true? Lets hope deuce gets to the bottom of these reports of staff abuse.

But, I’m not so sure that writing a positive review doesn’t help you get good mileage in your next visit . . . not unlike bringing a small gift or writing a short note telling her how much you enjoyed the session.

I guess I’ve always assumed the quality of future appointments was affected more by what went on during the last date, how well you got along together, rather than the other types of things. At least, I hope so, particularly since I never tip and only very rarely (maybe three or four ladies ever?) bring gifts. As long as I don’t haggle over the donation, how much does being a “cheap bastard” or infrequent-reviewer (but I do on request) hurt me? Hopefully not too much . . .

Maybe if someone is a very prominent poster and reviewer and the provider is a regular enough reader to know this, then it could help. But for 99.9% of guys, I doubt it.

I agree. We’re nowhere near as memorable as we think we are. I recall, during a small lunch several years ago, talking to a lady who was very well known on ASPD. This was very shortly (less than two months) after my first stint as a moderator, during which I posted a lot. I mentioned my handle to her. Initially there was no reaction, but later she asked me (paraphrasing because of my bad memory) “Your handle sounds familiar; are you maybe a moderator on ASPD?” It was a great reality check and reminder not to take myself too seriously. And now that I don’t post very often on ASPD or ECCIE or other boards, I assume that a lady I contact about a date has no idea who “Chevalier” is. Which might be for the best.

It’s also a way to be part of the “club”

I subscribe to the Groucho Marx principle.

I’m even more skeptical that writing reviews help you with providers you’ve yet to see. It seems to me that the vast majority of providers are not active readers of the board, certainly not to the point that they regularly read reviews enough to know if someone is a frequent reviewer. I’m also skeptical that most providers ever do any research into me beyond checking my p411 OKs and maybe, just maybe, reading my p411 profile. Maybe if someone is a very prominent poster and reviewer and the provider is a regular enough reader to know this, then it could help. But for 99.9% of guys, I doubt it.

To me, the best reason to review is simply the desire to express yourself and tell someone what you’ve done. Probably not totally different from the reasons you blog. I do not have a single real world friend who knows about this little part of my life. But, I want to tell about it. Also, if I had a really good time, I want to relive the memory. Memorializing it in writing helps me to do so and allows me to go back and read it again sometime. It’s also a way to be part of the “club” and better enjoy the back and forth on the boards.