Client profile

Alexa has an interesting post over on Real Princess Diaries about client profiles.  She starts by describing a categorization of clients by another escort (Rebecca Dakin) in a book, and then segues into discussion of her typical client.  I found it very interesting, for a couple of reasons.

First, that initial categorization by Rebecca Dakin.  Obviously — just as when clients create a taxonomy of escorts — classification by intent, motive, etc. is subject to possible error.  But the possibility of error doesn’t mean it’s a worthless exercise, and in any event the extent of such errors by the ladies in assessing clients’ inner feelings is probably less than the extent of errors by clients in assessing the ladies’ inner feelings.

But what that categorization, broken down first by age and then by sub-groups based on attitude etc., also points out (although not necessarily what she intended by it):

• Many clients probably fit in multiple categories (“I am large, I contain multitudes”; you might want to look through the list and see how many capture a bit of you); and
• If a client stays involved in P4P for a long period of time . . . his profile probably changes more than once.  As I read the list, it emphasized to me that I’m not the same as I was 30 years ago, or 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago.

Of course, with respect to that second point, we see that change in ourselves — if we take the trouble to look — but since most ladies know us for only a relatively short period of time (most often no more than 3 to 5 years, I suspect, although there are some outliers), the aspect of change is not as evident to them.

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And there was the inevitable reaction in the comments by a lady who really doesn’t enjoy her clients at all:

Almost ALL of my clients are white, 28-40 yrs old, and are below average looking. They all suck in bed and don’t know what to do with their hands, mouth and bodies. Men on “The Erotic Review” are even worse. Because you are at their mercy when it comes to reviews despite the fact that they are unattractive, overweight, horrible in bed and cheating on there wives.

and again

Ckients suck in bed and are pretty unattractive. Go figure.

Reading that sort of thing occasionally is healthy for clients, I think, as a reminder that the public statements about how great we are — well, sometimes they’re absolutely honest, but not always.

Luckily, this particular lady is leaving P4P soon.  I say that not in a “good riddance” sense, but because it sounds as though she’ll be happier.

Also interesting to note the reference to cheating.  I’m not sure how many escorts are bothered by the thought that their clients are cheating on their wives — a reminder of sorts that a man she might want a long term relationship with might not be trustworthy, and perhaps even some small degree of guilt over her facilitating the harm to another woman.  But I suspect it’s something that bothers the ladies more than they’re comfortable admitting publicly.

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And, finally, an interesting discussion about “hobbyists” or “punters.”  Some expanded discussion in the comments as well.  I don’t think it’s necessarily about any client who sees ladies frequently or even those who always sees someone new, almost never seeing a lady a second or third time.  It seems more about active participation on message/discussion/review boards, and perhaps also about actively writing reviews.  Some selected comments:

led me to refuse to see them if I know they like to accumulate escort notches on their bedposts (or belt).  Hobbyists just tend to have a different mindset than the kind of client I prefer to see.  They call them hobbyists for a reason, and I don’t really care to be just one more girl in their list of conquests.

However, hobbyists have threatened me with public outing, stalked me across several mediums and generally made my life more unpleasant than if I had never been involved with the boards.

That’s one of the characteristics of one subgroup of hobbyists – they seem to be all about control. Not all of them, of course, but just enough to give all of them a bad name. Most of the ones I’ve encountered have been pushy, overbearing and arrogant, especially once they find out how much I charge.

Well, despite the fact that many people see it as a “just sex” kind of thing, I like dealing with people who want at least a minimal connection of some type. Additionally, guys who see escorts as notches generally have a lot less respect for the women than the typical non-hobbyist (again, generalizing – there are many who don’t suffer from that issue). I won’t knowingly deal with clients who do not respect me as a human being.

And other comments that the “public promotion of their hobby” is seen as boorish and distasteful.

It seems, in a way, like two different aspects that are almost polar opposites.  Guys who emotionally distance or detach themsleves, where the conquest (as opposed to merely the sexual relief) is what’s important and the lady is an anonymous, faceless contribution to that result — not an individual in her own right worthy of respect.  And guys who want a relation to the lady, but an unhealthy one based on domination or control — leading to stalking, harassing, etc.  (Maybe those are not as opposite as they seem.)  And perhaps, in some respects, reviews not as information sharing but as a means of feeding the client’s ego and/or asserting control over the lady.

The subject of how the ladies feel about those who actively participate on discussion/review boards (or blog about P4P? ) is not a simple one.  There is some ambivalence, and recognition that not all “hobbyists”/”punters” are identical in how they relate to the ladies.  But it’s a fascinating window to their perspective, and one that not all “hobbyists”/”punters” run across.  I know several years ago I really didn’t understand the depth of the feelings that this engenders for some ladies, going well beyond just distate for being reviewed or the occasional guy who was over the top arrogant/misogynist.  When I started reading that sort of thing a few years ago, it opened my eyes and gave me a new perspective on members of discussion/review boards, and a new perspective on myself for that matter.

Interesting stuff.

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Well, the entire column, complete with all the comments, is interesting.  The above are just a few tidbits to pique your interest.  Check it out.