Belle de Jour

Belle’s “coming out” under her civilian name recently has, of course, been the talk of the P4P community.  I must confess I neither read the book nor watched the show, so I don’t have much of an opinion about those.  The coming out part is interesting, and may have a salutary effect on perceptions of P4P.  Or may not.

In any event, I’m a little bit late to the topic, but just ran across (through Alexa’s blog entry about it) an interesting article in the UK.  I’m not sure to what extent the author’s perspective, and her “investigation,” were objective, but at least a perspective that is not totally negative.  And she makes a very obvious point — that the reality of P4P for the lady may vary quite a bit depending on her reasons for entering the industry and what market niche she occupies.  There’s a substantial difference, quite often, between a streetwalker or girl working for a pimp and an upscale call girl charging $300/hour or more.  Sometimes it’s a good choice for a lady; sometimes it’s the least bad choice.  Sweeping generalizations aren’t very useful.

Alexa, of course, has some very interesting things to say about the whole affair as well; better insights than the newspaper article.  Be sure to check the comments as well; there’s lots of good stuff there, too.

Other than bringing these to readers’ attention, I’m not sure I have anything worthwhile to add.  So, go read those links and enjoy.

Emotional attachments

I ran across a thread on ASPD awhile back about emotional attachments in P4P, almost inevitably turning into disaster.  If the comments in the thread were at all representative, it happens a lot more often than I would have assumed 10 years ago.  In fact, it seems to be a fairly frequent discussion on a lot of P4P sites.

And I wonder . . . why do so many wind up in these failed relationships?

Whom to blame when ASPD is down

On another post, someone just commented:

WTF. Its Down AGAIN. This site is down more than up !!! Admins need to be fired.

Well.  I’ve criticized a lot of policies and actions by the staff at ASPD, but this may not be their fault. 

Five new rules

I ran across an amusing thread over at TER about “five new rules for whoremongering in the new millenium.”  Namely:

1. Stop treating your sessions as dates. If you want a date, go to Date.com and sign up and pray.

2. Pay in cash. Your VISA may be convenient, but the paper trail back to all of the pussy you’ve bought will be your ruin.

3. See a variety of women. Familiarity breeds contempt and it’s not strange anymore if you provider refers to you as a client or worse a friend.

4. Don’t overpay for foolish whims such as Pornstars, PSE, GFE and other alphabet BS. Find a provider who has the personality, temperament, and likes what she does.

5. Remember rule #4.

OK, amusing because it was provocative — perhaps deliberately so — and the post led to some heated words on both sides.  Some of the rebuttals were also amusing, for example:

Telling the world

I spent time with another of those “just right” ladies yesterday.  There are very few of my favorites still active, but quality is more important than quantity, n’est ce pas? Sarah commented on the other thread that

you wanna shout out loud for the world to hear!

Why, yes, I do. Although I’m still a bit suspicious of my motives with respect to the idea of doing so in the form of a review or otherwise on a P4P board.  Not that I think the ladies would necessarily object.  But would “telling the world about it” be for the benefit of readers and/or the lady . . . or to brag about my good luck?  Most of us have run across people who drift toward becoming obnoxious because they review and comment too frequently about their favorites — more online flirtation and promotion than sharing information — and it seems to be increasing in recent years.  So, in the interests of not becoming “one of those guys,” I’ll continue to communicate my appreciation and enthusiasm privately to the ladies and perhaps make the occasional brief and anonymous comment here, but I think I’ll continue to mostly limit my reviews on P4P sites to when the lady suggests that it would be useful.  Too many or too frequent reviews/comments, or reviews/comments primarily by just a few clients, are not necessarily a good thing.

MFM threesomes

Gia posted recently on ASPD and ECCIE about the idea of a MFM threesome, and others posted some interesting comments.  It seems very popular with the ladies; probably more so — understandably — than with the guys.

Damn, it’s great

when you spend time with one of those “just right” ladies.  It’s relatively easy to find an escort with whom you will have a great time BCD.  Attractive, GFE, professional/reliable, warm and friendly.  It’s harder to find one with whom you’d really enjoy hanging out even if sex were not involved.  (Well, at least it’s harder for me, since I’m an anti-social curmudgeon.)  Someone with intelligence, a wicked sense of humor, similar interests, and a great personality.  That’s winning the lottery.

I’ve run across a few ladies that fit all of that, although several retired.  But I managed to reconnect with one, whom I hadn’t seen in years, recently.  It made my day.

Perspective

I ran across an interesting post on Craigslist a few months ago.  (I never browse Craigslist, so assume I found it through a link elsewhere, but can’t remember where.  Maybe TER?)  It’s not really about P4P . . . although it may explain some of the client behavior and attitudes you see in P4P.  Well, maybe it is about P4P in part; I rather suspect that the author would not approve of us.  Fair enough. 

I imagine that some readers will disagree with this or find it rather harsh.  Personally, I enjoyed it — an interesting perspective, amusingly presented, even if it contains some unpleasant truths.  YOMV and CASG. A copy of the post, that I saved at the time, after the jump:

A picture is worth 1000 words

There was apparently a little bit of a brouhaha on ASPD recently about geniusman replying to reviews to post pictures of the lady being reviewed.  An ASPD thread about it here, and an ECCIE thread about it here.

I missed the memo on this one, so I am not sure exactly when or how the restriction was expressed.  But my initial reaction is that the whole thing sounds a little bit silly on both sides.

Drifting

Speaking of “lists,” mine is rather short at the moment, at least compared to where it’s been in the past.  I’m at a stage where who is more important than what.  The desire tends to be more specific, directed at particular individuals – wanting to see X or Y or Z rather than just wanting to get laid with anyone acceptable who happens to be available.  So, there’s my ATF.  Maybe two other favorites remain on the list (after others retired or disappeared), and one of those is so damned far away [** see below] that the list is almost reduced to two.  (It’s worth the time and effort to go visit the distant lady, but it’s extremely difficult to fit into my schedule.)  That’s it.  Unfortunately, with a list that short, it’s sometimes difficult (between my schedule and theirs) to schedule very often.

There are certainly other ladies who are attractive, friendly, and accommodating.   I’ve seen them before and know that, if I feel the urge and can’t schedule with one of my favorites, I would enjoy seeing them.  But I don’t experience as much (if any) feeling of connection with them.  I might contact them if the “feeling [comes] upon me like a tidal wave.”  But with respect to planning an rendezvous because of thinking about a specific lady — as is more often the case these days, as opposed to just because of an unfocused physical urge looking for a target on which to focus — it’s likely just one of the three (or two?) on that dwindling list of favorites/regulars.  Most often, although not always, if none of them are available I may not even try to find another partner for the afternoon.

Sometimes when my “favorites” list gets short, I wind up “replenishing” it by seeing other ladies who might become a favorite/regular.  But at least at the moment I don’t feel a lot of enthusiasm or urgency for that either.  And at the moment, I’m not sure if there is anyone on my “to see”/”prospects” list, although admittedly I haven’t been looking very actively.  (If I don’t look actively and carefully, I’m not apt to them.  There are a lot of ladies in Dallas, but few who catch my fancy.)  At some point, if the list dwindles further or it becomes increasingly difficult to arrange a tryst, I may find more enthusiasm/urgency for finding new prospects and rebuilding the list.

Until then, I’m drifting along, content with where I am.  In the past, I’ve sometimes thought I was slowly drifting away from P4P, but I don’t think that’s the case.  The list usually does get replinished eventually; it just hasn’t, yet.

————–

[**]  Edited to add:  Well, it turns out not to be quite as far away as I thought. May still not be feasible after work if I have to fight rush hour traffic, but for the middle of the day — not bad.  At least, as long as a long lunch hour won’t be that noticeable.