Would you?

Some P4P clients like to think that we are more than an ATM or an anonymous masturbatory tool.  That the lady — while she wouldn’t be there without the $$$ — does enjoy our company; perhaps even “connects” (to a limited extent) or manages “bounded authenticity.”  Certainly many ladies give at least some of their clients that impression, hopefully without leading them on to think that it’s more than it really is.

Of course, there’s generally no way to know if the impression you have of the lady’s reaction to you is accurate.  Conventional wisdom among P4P clients seems to be — there are times we’re fairly confident there isn’t a connection, but other times we’re not sure whether what appears to be a connection is simply good acting, normal/acceptable “client relations” as you’d find in many businesses, or an honest connection.  Perhaps because of inherent insecurity on the clients’ part; perhaps because the lady’s thoughts and feelings are internal and ultimately cannot be verified.  Hell, we don’t know for sure what friends, colleagues at work, or family members think about us; it would be unreasonable to think we could with respect to people we spend even less time with.

But, a hypothetical . . . if it were possible (which I don’t think it is) to know for sure what a lady thought of you, and spending intimate time with you . . . would you really want to know?

Personally, I’m generally a curious person, or perhaps better stated, I experience “not knowing” certain things as an uncomfortable feeling.  Sometimes there’s almost a compulsion to continue thinking about those things, worrying them around in my mind, or trying to find out.  It’s difficult for me, at times, to simply let them be.  A few times (outside the P4P context) I’ve even taken some steps I shouldn’t have to find out.

So my initial reaction to the hypothetical might be . . . yes, I would want to know.  But as I’ve thought about it more, I think it’s probably the type of thing that should be let alone, even if it were possible to know for sure.

In some extreme circumstances, it might be important to know — say, for a client who was planning to leave his wife for an escort, or for a client who was contemplating simply giving $$$$$$ to a lady solely because of a perception of a serious relationship.  But despite how often I may reference “connection” in the context of P4P, for me it’s always been limited, less than what some clients appear to find here, because of my circumstances and/or personality.  So it’s not important that I know in the sense that significant decisions rest on my impression.

When it’s not important that I know, I suspect there is more potential for loss than for gain in knowing.  If I think Lady X really does enjoy my company and thinks well of me, and it turns out to be true, what have I gained by confirming that?  But if I think Lady X really does enjoy my company and thinks well of me, and find out that it was just “client relations” and in fact she is slightly repulsed (although able to conceal it) by intimacy with me . . . definitely not a fun outcome. Although the following quote arose in a much more significant context than a P4P relationship, it still captures some of the dynamic:

even if the outcome is as you desire, you will not be more content, more wealthy, more honored than you are now, and if it is not, you will find yourself in the greatest misery imaginable

Realizing that an escort doesn’t think much of you one way or another, or even thinks negatively of you, is not the “greatest misery imaginable,” but it would be unpleasant.  We all like to be liked, don’t we?  If you’re worried that a lady thinks that way about you, why on earth would you want to confirm it??

In fact, if a client can’t stand not knowing for sure, an attempt to find out can backfire.  If a lady really does enjoy his company but he is constantly expressing doubt and pushing for reassurances, that itself can bother or annoy her to the point of changing how she feels.  Trying too hard to confirm that she enjoys your company can result in her dreading it.

attempting actions more likely to harm us than to benefit us is characteristic of rash minds bereft of reason, especially when they are not forced or compelled to undertake them

So, in P4P, when my impression is that a lady may feel some degree of connection or chemistry with me (relatively infrequent, maybe 10 – 20% of the ladies I’ve seen) . . . I try not to mess with it.  As long as I only permit myself to think “maybe,” and even that only within the boundaries of our time together without any thought of extending beyond that, it’s harmless.  The perception is important, not the reality.  Even if that “maybe” is wrong, ignorance is bliss.  Let me keep my fantasy. And leaving it at that may be much better than being “recklessly curious.”

If I were to guess, I’d guess that most ladies would prefer their clients followed that course.