Attraction

I ran across a rather interesting — because rare — comment by an escort in a post on ASPD:

I can think of five long time regulars of mine, that I have seen for years.

All are unattractive, two are obese, one is disabled, and all are socially awkward.

You see comments by clients occasionally about how the ladies must perceive us as unattractive.  But it’s pretty rare coming from the ladies, unless they can do it anonymously.  (I suspect the five regulars Heather spoke about are not ASPD members and therefore wouldn’t see it.)

But it’s probably true in the vast majority of cases.  For one thing, you rarely see ladies publicly contradict such statements.  That is, even the ladies who speak very positively about liking their clients tend to state it without any reference to why or else explain it based on the clients’ intelligence, personality, attitude, etc. rather than their physical appearance.  For that matter, Heather did the same later on in that same post:

Although they are lacking in the looks department, each of these men have hearts of gold, and are intelligent and fascinating in their own way.

Some clients assume the ladies see us only as ATMs.  Even the more positive clients probably assume most ladies are thinking:  “You’re not the kind of guy I normally find physically attractive, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t sincerely enjoy our time together.  Looks aren’t everything.” 

Despite what may appear at times to be an obsession by clients on what the ladies think of us in that respect, though, I suspect it’s usually not that big a deal for most, particularly given the typical age differences between escort and client.  She wouldn’t fall in lust at first sight, across a crowded room?  That’s fine.  Attraction to our physical appearance isn’t critical . . . at least as long as she isn’t repulsed.  I don’t mind that I’m not Brad Pitt, as long as she doesn’t mistake me for Quasimodo.

Of course, even if the ladies do see us just as ATMs, consider the context.  Their decision to see us may in fact be based almost exclusively, other than safety/screening, on our willingness to pay their quoted rate.  But how do we select them?  Even though they might wish that we were more impressed by their intelligence or personality than their beauty (while still wanting us to also think they’re beautiful ), in fact, clients normally select almost exclusively based on the lady’s physical appearance and/or reported sexuality.  In some respects this resembles a smaller version of the stereotype of the “trophy wife” phenomenon, doesn’t it?  She is with him because he’s got money, he’s with her because she’s beautiful and much younger.  Who is more shallow?

With repeat visits (as also happens to some degree with trophy wives), the inner qualities may become a factor.  The $$$ and the beauty/sexuality still may be most important, but they’re no longer the only factor. 

And multiple visits still won’t turn me into George Clooney or Brad Pitt.