Tarot cards

Once more, nothing to do with P4P.  This was from an online “what Tarot card are you” test.  Yeah, I know, a bit silly — an amusing way to spend a few minutes, rather than something informative.  I came out as:

Why lie in a review?

I ran across a discussion recently about a false review.  Not, as is often the case when a lady complains about a review, a negative review; it was a positive review, but included some things that did not actually occur.

It’s fairly obvious why such a review would create a problem for the lady reviewed.  If she doesn’t offer a particular menu item, but the review mentions that the client got that, she will be bombarded by guys asking for the same thing.  (This is the same downside, of course, as an honest review that discloses extra mileage not available to everyone — which is why it makes sense to omit such details from a review.  Doesn’t make it a dishonest review, in my opinion; it still gives an accurate reflection of what another guy might expect in a session, if that omitted activity truly was extra mileage.  And it’s always fair to omit favorable information that the lady would prefer not be made public.)  That’s a major pain in the ass for the lady.  I totally get that.

What I don’t get . . . is the motive for the guy to lie that way in a review.

Derivative

No, this is not a long and boring blog entry about calculus and higher math, or financial instruments.  It’s a long and boring blog entry about P4P.

Specifically, the difference between sexual pleasure that is experienced directly (I enjoy it because it feels good) and pleasure that derives from your partner’s pleasure (I enjoy it because of her response).  And how we deal with that.

Leaks

Members of P4P boards often react very strongly to the idea of leaks of information, from areas to which access is restricted (“BCD” or “Locker Room,” in ASPD-speak), to parties who do not have access to the areas where that information is posted.  Almost always, that is stated in the context of leaks of the information to the ladies. 

I understand the negative reactions, but the hyperbole and over-reaction is rather amusing at times.  Well, I’m easily amused.

Naive or shallow?

If you read very much of my blog, you will run into comments about how I prefer ladies with whom I feel a “connection.”  Perhaps a “P4P friendship,” defined as fairly limited, intrinsically difficult if not impossible to be as close as a “real life friendship.”  After all, we have limited time together; discretion often limits where we can be together (a private hotel room is one thing, but at a restaurant someone I know might see us); and our time together may be focused on sex rather than sharing what it is that makes us tick.  But, whether “connection” or “P4P friendship,” with some ladies it feels like there is something there, more than “just another client” (JAC) who is not that distinguishable from her other clients.  It’s not necessary for me, but on the infrequent occasions when it’s there (probably less than 20% of the ladies I see), I enjoy it.  Some guys are completely indifferent to it, and that’s OK too; WALDT.

Of course, if you read very much of my blog, you will also run across acknowledgements that this may very well be — in fact, is likely to be in any one particular case within the 20% – an illusion.  Not necessarily malign, or intended to manipulate; maybe only a bit of exaggeration as customer relations.  (Hell, I engage in such myself; it’s routine for most service industries.)  I assume that most of the ladies like most of their clients and would be glad to see us come back, but a month later we’re still JAC, no different than any of her other clients.  I think for most escort/client interactions, that’s normal, damnit — and not inherently bad.  Certainly being JAC to her would not prevent me from going back and seeing her again.

Balancing the good feeling engendered by that sense of more connection than JAC, against the knowledge of it’s probably an illusion — now, that’s the trick.

ATF

For those unfamiliar with the acronyms that seem ubiquitous in P4P — All Time Favorite.  

I understand that it feels wonderful to the ladies to have a client call her his ATF.  (Well, at least from some clients; I imagine most ladies could think of a client or two whose designation of her as an ATF might be a negative. )  As CarrieTX put it awhile back in this thread:

The times I’ve been told I was an ATF I grinned like a kid who’s been given a lollipop and a pony. That’s just about the best compliment a girl can get in this business.

If I’m no longer someone’s ATF, that’s ok, but I sure don’t need to be told that! Let me hang on to my lollipop and pony delusions, kay?

I’ve used the term myself a time or two, although but when I stop to think about it, it feels a little bit strange.

Anger

I ran across some old posts (here and here ) by Livvy the other day, on an important theme.  I do encourage you to go read both of them, along with the comments by her readers.  It’s an exceptional discussion.  I’ll try to encourage you more with a few brief snippets (some of the best after the jump):

The English Courtesan has been struck of late by how many angry women there are amongst escorts and courtesans. . . . The English Courtesan often wonders whether it’s that being an escort or courtesan attracts angry women or whether it’s their experience of escorting that makes these women angry. It’s sad but true that a lot of women seem to get into the sex industry as a result of some sort of damage, whether psychological, emotional or financial. . . . Yet what saddens the English Courtesan is that, in so many cases, becoming an escort or courtesan for the wrong reasons and out of anger can lead to a victim mentality and to frustration with the job which directly impacts on client experiences, on other escort girls and on general perceptions of courtesans, escorts and escorting. . . . Other escorts and courtesans seem to have become angry over time. There are very good reasons in some cases . . . . However many escorts and courtesans seem to have become angry and bitter for more general reasons than these.

Social

I went to a Dallas P4P party last night.  I actually came up with a fairly decent hall pass/excuse to get home late, for a change.  Then, wouldn’t you know it, a business event came up that I had to attend right after work.  So I couldn’t get to the party until a couple of hours after it began and wasn’t able to stay very long.

Not just hotels

I posted a couple of weeks ago about that deja vu feeling when you’ve visited a particular hotel several times, with more than one ladyfriend.  I mentioned that it also applied sometimes with apartments . . . and I experienced it again yesterday.  A ladyfriend had set up a new incall location in an apartment, where I’d never visited her before.  She sent me the address.  It seemed a little bit familiar.  Then I went to mapquest.com to check out the location and how best to get there.  Started typing in the address . . . and sure enough, the website recognized it (from an early search) and auto-completed the rest of the address.

I was trying to remember what other lady I’d visited there.  Before I drove over, I had it narrowed down to one of two ladies.  And when I drove into the apartment complex, I was sure who it had been.  It had been almost two years ago, and I didn’t remember the apartment she’d been in, but I definitely associated the apartment complex with her.

Now I’ll associate it with my current ladyfriend.

On the other hand . . .

So, yesterday afternoon I visited one of my favorite ladyfriends.  After a little chit-chat, non-stop action for, what, maybe 45 minutes?  (Mostly foreplay, of course; I still don’t last a long time when we get to the main event.)  She seems to have a better sense of my body and ability to prolong the encounter more than many girls.  A definite little firecracker.

She is also one of the most, ummm, “demonstrative” ladies I’ve seen — facial expressions and the look in her eyes, stiffening nipples, arched back, wetness , her breathing, quivering body, as well as verbal reactions (both words and incoherent sounds).  I have a hard time thinking of any of the other ladies I’ve seen who have shown quite that level of excitement.  Maybe a few, but definitely not very many.

Yeah, I know what I said yesterday.  Her reaction may have been partly an illusion (although if so she made it very plausible and credible).  If it was real, it’s probably much more about her ability to relax and really enjoy sex, rather than exactly who her partner happens to be.  (After all, a lot of other clients have indicated similar experiences with her.  So it certainly wasn’t a tribute to me specifically.)  Other ladies may enjoy themselves just as much but just not show outwardly quite it as much.  And even if other ladies don’t enjoy it to that extent, I don’t really consider that a negative, and I’ll still enjoy my time with them.

On the other hand, when you’re with someone who shows every sign of enjoying it that much . . . damn, that’s exciting and stimulating!