“Newbie friendly”

You see posts occasionally on discussion boards — well, on Dallas ASPD anyway — by guys just getting ready to try P4P for the first time.  The most common question is probably “how do I find someone to see me before I have references, and how do I get references when I haven’t seen anyone yet?”  Another pretty frequent one, though, is which lady to see . . . who will make it a less uncomfortable situation for someone who is new and nervous.  A/k/a “newbie friendly.”

Whenever someone asks that question, several people usually make suggestions, although in most cases I suspect it’s more their evaluation of who is fun to see, rather than who is particularly good at soothing those nerves.  They do get some advice, though.  But . . .

The flip side of rejection

Well, sure, since the clients as a rule are the ones who ask the ladies for a session, rather than the other way around, we are the ones subject to the (hopefully rare) pain of rejection.  The flip side of that, experienced by the ladies?  I’ve heard a lady or two refer to it as one of those “Why did he have to pick me??” moments. It’s not pleasant from their end either.  Something to remember the next time we’re turned down.

 

Referrals

I got another “referral” last night.  By “referral” I mean, someone contacts me to recommend a lady who is UTR or just starting out (perhaps not advertising yet).

It hasn’t happened often; maybe 5 times in the past 6 or 7 years.  I’m not really “networked” in, and also not part of the crowd specifically looking for someone “new.”  (That is, the prospect of being one of a lady’s first clients is not necessarily a negative, but neither does it have special allure for me.  I’m not entirely sure why it does to others.  Is it akin to the ego boost that some guys reportedly get from being the one to deflower a virgin?)  If anything, I’m often leery of being the first to see a lady just starting out in P4P.  The professional aspects or some of the little nuances are sometimes a bit shaky to begin with.  And some ladies have difficulty really getting into the right mental/emotional state for sex with a stranger, and struggle with that comfort level necessary for a really good encounter.  At least initially — and if it persists, they may decide P4P is not for them.

But sometimes . . .

The effect of a review

A recent comment on ASPD by one of the ladies:

I have personally been affected by a bad review. I have had 1 bad review since I started on aspd in 2000. Not bad, but I have guys that remember that 1 bad review. It was really bad and the guy lied about the whole session since he didn’t get a 2nd bell in the time he booked. He waited till his time was up and I was getting dressed to ask for a 2nd round.

So, sometimes if you just happen to piss off the wrong person they will lie just to show you. It took about 6 months to recover from that one bad review even with all the positive ones I had before and after.

Uh oh.

Another blog gone missing

Juliette has deleted her blog. So, off the blogroll.  And, if you run across any links from here to her blog . . . they won’t work.

Escort and client . . . and what that’s about

A couple of interesting entries on Livvy’s blog, here and here.  (As always, read the comments as well — Livvy not only has fascinating things to say herself but also attracts responses that are equally thought-provoking.)  The entries started out about the idea of “dating” an escort.  That is, an existing escort-client relationship that was transformed into a civilian relationship, where no money exchanged hands.  But, as is often the case, they also meandered around to some thoughts about the P4P relationship itself.  Indeed, to male-female relationships of all sorts.

A few snippets to whet your interest:

CL/BP

One point of dissension within the P4P “community,” at least that community which roughly correlates to active Dallas ASPD members, concerns the ladies who advertise on C*raigslist or B*ackpage.  (Not those who advertise there and more traditional venues, including ASPD; the disagreement is really about those who are only found on CL/BP.)

It’s a generalization and therefore certainly not 100% true, but the ads on CL/BP apparently on average tend to be at lower prices than the prices of ladies who advertise on ASPD.  Some ASPD members look down on CL/BP ladies — at least the ones who advertise significantly lower rates — and those who patronize them, as somehow “low class.”  Other ASPD members resent that attitude, and argue that there is no correlation between cost and quality of service.  This ASPD thread is a typical example of the argument, but there are many.  A few choice quotes for the flavor of the negative attitude toward CL/BP:

Civilian attitudes

I ran across this online discussion recently about whether prostitution should be legalized.  It contains the kind of stereotypes and attitudes that one might expect.  That most prostitutes are exploited, or even trafficked; that most were abused as children and/or have drug problems; etc.

Part of it, of course, is because they’re focusing on particular segments of the industry, and then ignoring others or implicitly assuming that the conditions apply to all segments.  For example, as an illustration that prostitutes are exploited, one person cited the finances of brothels:

P4P economics

An interesting article attempting to quantify the annual “escort economy,” excluding streetwalkers and brothels.  (Brought to my attention by a post on ASPD by Cugine; thanks.)

It concludes that this particular slice of the “adult industry” runs around $109 million a year.  And in the comments, someone mentions that

Incidentally, Portfolio had an article a few months ago on Porn. Some say the ‘Adult Industry’ is around $10billion, although Forbes pegs it at btw 2 and 4 billion.

Of course, the estimate of $109 million necessarily relied on some . . . shall we say, questionable assumptions.  Some of which would overstate the final result, but most of which would understate it.

How do you gauge it?

I’ve been ruminating on this one for a few months now.  It began when I was reading the comments to a post about self esteem, as well as the related thread on ASPD.  I started thinking — how, exactly, do guys involved in P4P get a sense of how attractive they are to women?  And is our sense of that likely to be accurate?

I rather suspect that many clients have an inaccurate perception of whether and to what extent the escorts find us attractive.  Just makes sense to me, for a number of reasons.