Attitude

A nice post here by Sophie about how important the client’s attitude is.  A summary of “good attitude” and “bad attitude”:

Rejection

I ran across this quote recently:

he was convinced that once a woman goes to bed with a man, she will continue to go to bed with him whenever he desires, as long as he knows how to move her to passion each time.  He had endured everything because of that conviction, he had overlooked everything, even the dirtiest dealings in love, so that he would not have to grant to any woman born of woman the opportunity to make the final decision.

Today

Things are kinda quiet in the office this week, affording me much more of an opportunity than usual to disappear for awhile without being too noticeable.  So I took advantage of it this morning.  It wasn’t just a matter of having some free time and some $$$, though.  Those are prerequisites, necessary but not sufficient.  It’s also a matter of someone I’m really interested in seeing.

That sounds harsher than intended. There’s certainly no shortage of attractive, fun ladies in the Dallas P4P community.  But my general interest level, in the abstract (not tied to a particular lady), has gone down a bit in recent months.  Either that or I’m getting lazy.  I feel a degree of lassitude or inertia, and it takes something more than just the prospect of getting my rocks off, with a minimum of roadblocks or difficulties, to overcome that inertia.

Barriers

We all experience barriers, at various times with various people, that limit how much we open ourselves up to other people.  We all wall off parts of our thoughts and emotions.  Just part of the human condition, or maybe our socialization.  Some people are better at surmounting those barriers and really connecting than others, but we all experience it at least part of the time.  (I am, in many ways, a very reserved, introverted person.  Although in some respects I can be relatively open with people, generally I put up more barriers and am more closed off than most people, and probably also am less likely to try to surmount barriers erected by others.  That’s not a positive quality, but I am what I am; que sera sera.) 

P4P tends to raise some barriers even higher.  Obviously, secrecy is a big concern.  I think there’s also a large amount of fear.  For various reasons.

How do you use them?

I’ve been thinking about reviews again, partly because of some comments by Jain in the comments here and here.  And one of the things I’ve concluded — not that it necessarily has anything to do with Jain’s comments — is that I have a bit of a blindspot regarding reviews.  They are used in a way that, while I’ve always been aware of, I tend to ignore or downplay when considering how a review system should work.

Missing links

One of the difficulties of a P4P blog is the accelerated obsolescence of links.  If one blogs on a different subject — well, other sites you link to may become inactive but they’re probably still around.  Whereas with the secrecy endemic to P4P, a lot of sites/blogs go private or disappear altogether.  And then any link you’ve included to that site/blog on your blog no longer works.

You’ll probably run across a fair amount of that here.  I’ve experienced it with AHC, which went private awhile back.  The posts to which I linked are probably still around, but if you’re not a member, the link won’t do you much good.  And other blogs I’ve linked over the past year or two to have just disappeared.  It happened again a couple of days ago.  Caitie Mae’s blog has disappeared, and if you go to caitiemae.com it says:

CaitieMae.com is OFFLINE and may not return.

Nothing is ever carved in stone, and she’s returned other times when various indications suggested that she was gone for good.  But for now, add her to the list of those whom I’ve removed from the blogroll and whose posts to which I linked are no longer available.

Best wishes to all the ladies who have disappeared, wherever life may have taken them.

Secrecy

P4P, as much as we might wish otherwise, is illegal and also carries a strong social stigma.  So, naturally, most of us who participate in P4P are also very careful about keeping that participation secret from the “civilian world.”  (As a result, other than physical violence, “outing” someone is perhaps the most serious “P4P sin.”  Shorting the envelope, cash-and-dash, etc. all pale in comparison.)

In fact, “P4P communities” are in part a reaction to that need for secrecy.  A review/discussion board is one of the few places that we can talk about this and socialize with like-minded people without the fear of society’s condemnation.  Sure, reviews and ads are a very important part of the reason that people join such boards, but the socializing is also a factor for many, I suspect.  Not everyone chooses to socialize; some may get a membership just to access/use the board but rarely post or review (clients) or place ads (ladies); some ladies may even discourage any reviews to maintain a lower profile.  But many do enjoy socializing.

Even for those who participate actively, though, there is a second level of secrecy — some things we don’t even want others in the P4P community to associate with our “P4P identity.”  Some of which seem a little bit strange when you stop to think about them.

Different levels?

About three weeks ago Deuce was banned from ASPD (the ASPD announcement here, Deuce’s blog entry here, and my take on things here) because

He has shown nothing but contempt for the current Dallas administration as well as staff members in other cities. He has carried on an agenda that has been disrepectful of the forum leaders and continued to pot stir to the detriment of the membership here.

And Tuesday or Wednesday, bossywillson was banned for “disrespect towards forum leaders – shit stirring.”  Apparently for this post making a not-very-veiled accusation about one of the moderators.

I doubt if anything would be gained by debating the bans on the merits.  But they do bring up a general, abstract question that interests me.  Specifically . . .

6 random things

Tagged again, by Livvy.  The rules:

- Post the rules of the six random things tag on your blog
- Write six random things about yourself in a blog post
- Tag six people of your own
- Link to each person you tag
- Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
- Let the person who tagged you know your entry is up

Hmmm.  I did the “7 random things” about ten months ago.  I’m running out of things to say. But I’ll give it a shot.

Respecting regulars

Some observations by Livvy about the trouble with regulars:

The English Courtesan has heard of other escort girls having trouble with regulars. It seems that men who see one escort regularly sometimes begin, often unintentionally and subconsciously perhaps, to take them for granted. They start to demand assorted ‘extras’ from their escort, start calling, texting or emailing whenever they’re bored, and generally forget the common courtesies.

Is that what happened here? Does familiarity breed contempt or was the contempt for the English Courtesan there from the outset for Geoff?