Emotional costs

Yes, this is dredging up a year-old post on Gillette’s blog, about mentoring new escorts.  But I ran across it again and found it (as expected) an interesting window into P4P from the ladies’ perspective.  Particularly this part:

Wives

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, but Gillette’s entry here finally prodded me into commenting about it.  Although I don’t know that I have much to contribute.

I know that, for married men such as me, society consdiers P4P to be cheating, and wrong even more than it is for single men.  I understand, and to a large extent, share the basis for that conclusion: that we make a implicit commitment to our wives and that P4P — or an affair for that matter — is a violation of that commitment, that would deeply wound our wives if they knew.  Yet, we do it anyway.  Three reasons come to mind, none completely satisfying.

Six words

A delayed response (I was out-of-pocket last week) to Juliette’s tag [link removed, no longer active] to play a new blog game:

The Rules :

1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

Not easy, at all!  I’m not a very good judge of myself.  But if I must, I must.

An explanation

for a substantial portion of the posts on a P4P board (among other varieties):

Mine included.

From http://xkcd.com/386/.

Objectification

One of the criticisms of P4P that we sometimes hear from civilians is that it “degrades” women; turns them into mere objects whose only purpose is the sexual gratification of the client.  At the extremes, this idea of sexual objectification can veer into radical feminist theory.

While I can understand the appeal to some of this perspective — who doesn’t want to be appreciated for the whole self rather than just a small aspect? — it has also always bothered me somewhat.  Because it’s not something that arises only in the context of strip clubs or P4P, and it’s not something that arises only with respect to women and their sexual attributes.  Further, it suggests something about the customer/service provider relationship for sex work, radically different from other business relationships, that seems to come from some rather misleading stereotypes of P4P.

Self-esteem

A discussion over on ASPD about whether P4P clients tend to suffer from low self-esteem.

Well, certainly there are some, just as there are some in any environment.  Higher percentage than in the population as a whole?  Possibly, but I doubt if it’s much higher.  I think that those who perceive a serious problem are mistaking some things for low self-esteem that are not.

Another take

Some general ruminations about P4P, by an agency booker or owner (not clear which).  (I ran across this from a link on a private P4P board, so will just express generic thanks for pointing it out, rather than naming the board or the individual who posted the link.)

Lots of interesting thoughts — not necessarily novel insights, but well expressed — floating around.  A few snippets:

So true

An observation by Dolly:

But a hell of a lot of people shouldn’t be doing this at all, both sides. It’s easy to see on forums.

It’s sad to see, but definitely true, here in Texas as well as in the UK.  Not just the ladies who are trafficked or otherwise forced into it.  Both the ladies and the clients sometimes find that P4P is just not for them.  But they get started and . . . it’s hard to break away.

A new blog

Check out Dolly Mopp.  Another addition to the diversity of perspective on the blogroll — all offering something slightly different, and in a different “voice.”

Are you like me?  When you run across a new blog, do you go back — if not to the beginning, at least a couple of months?  You run across all sorts of interesting things you’d never encounter if you just read forward, not to mention picking up the “flavor” of the author. I’m in the process of doing that with Dolly now, although  as busy as I am these days (not to mention gradually moving away or retiring from the P4P world), I limited myself for now to going back to the beginning of the year.

Speaking of diversity of perspective — I dropped J*oanne of Leeds from the blogroll because her blog has disappeared , but I still have quite a bit of a non-Texas feeling to it. Let’s see — Livvy, Nia, Ptr, and Dolly in the UK; Mercurial Girl is in Paris; Compartments, Gillette, LA Player, and Simply Alexa (?) in California; and only Amanda, Caitie Mae, and Deuce in Texas.  I don’t think I’ve seen Juliette mention her location, but the fleur-di-lis and “chère” . . . certainly sounds more like France than Texas, doesn’t it?

Enjoy!

Civilians’ views of P4P

I ran across some discussion about P4P over on Slate (arising, of course, from the problems of you-know-who).  It’s interesting to read, and I post about it here, not because I necessarily agree with it, or because it necessarily represents “conventional wisdom” about P4P — but because it represents what at least some “elites” think about P4P.

Are they right?  Wrong?  I don’t know.  But it’s the sort of perspective we should at least be aware of and consider.  If nothing else, a corrective to the Pretty Woman glamorization of P4P.

Some snippets: