Reasonable expectations

A couple of months ago, I posted about guys who have been “burnt” or “stung” by ladies in the P4P business.  It’s a fairly common theme, and pops up often.  In fact, some clients almost seem to wear it as a badge of honor, or something of which to be proud, as though you’re not a real P4P client until you’ve been “taken” by an escort.  (And I’m skeptical of some of the stories.  They’re usually presented in conclusory terms, and of course without hearing the lady’s perspective.  Do you suppose in some cases it’s not as clear cut as the guys make it out to be?)

I still don’t entirely understand it.  I still think that it’s only partly because the ladies are manipulative and at least partly because the clients are trying to go outside the boundaries of a normal P4P relationship.  But recent discussions I’ve read have lead to a couple of other thoughts about the topic.

Incall, outcall, or . . . ??

Clients are used to thinking in terms of two general categories for sessions: incall (lady furnishes the place), and outcall (we furnish the place and lady comes to us).  There is a slight variation which combines elements of both; see an example here.  Call it “indirect outcall” or “incall a la carte.”  The lady gets a hotel room for the rendezvous, but the client reimburses her for the cost of the room.

There may be both advantages and disadvantages from the client’s perspective, of course.  Depending in part on whether one compares this arrangement to the traditional incall or to the traditional outcall.

Now that I think about it . . .

The psychology of P4P review/discussion boards interests me (some might say obsessively so).  On occasion, these seem . . . I’m not sure quite how to express this; surprising or unexpected in their dynamics, but in an almost familiar way.  Something that I subconsciously don’t associate with P4P boards, although perhaps I should. 

And then the other day, I read something and it hit me.

Unions.

Yeah, I know, it’s a very loose comparison; there are a lot of differences.  But there also are one or two interesting parallels.

Rationality and choice?

I ran across the following yesterday.  The book in question sounds interesting, but the specific example they mention from it approaches the status of a taboo subject: sex-workers offering unprotected sex to clients.

I think it happens, when it does, for the same sort of reason mentioned there (although not necessarily analyzed that systematically): an additional five years worth of income is valued more than one extra year of healthy life.  Many sex workers would not reach the same conclusion, either because they value added years of healthy life higher than the money or because they overestimate the risk.  There are a lot of clients, from what I’ve heard, though, who push for BBFS.  Who may pay more to, or be more likely to schedule with, ladies who offer it.  The consensus of opinion, from what I’ve seen on discussion boards, seems to be that BBFS is more common in P4P than many of us realize — and it’s hard to believe that would happen if there weren’t financial incentives.  It’s a little difficult to believe it would happen even with financial incentives, but then I would balance risk and rewards differently than the people in that study.

This is not an advocacy post.  I just thought I would bring this to your attention.  I don’t know that it’s really a good topic for discussion, as usually there’s little to say beyond the obligatory expressions of horror that we’ve all heard many times.

Freebie

Someone sent me an interesting P4P hypothetical the other day:

If you were offered a “freebie” by a lady you liked, would you accept? If not, why not?

An interesting question.  One without a simple answer, at least for me.  There are some ethical and pragmatic issues swirling around, and some cautionary bells ringing in the back of my mind.

Makeup

Men and women seem to have entirely different conceptions of “makeup.”  Aside from the purely practical issues — clients wanting no traces of evidence that they stopped for some P4P on their way home — many clients say that they prefer the “no makeup” look.  As in this thread on ASPD.

Oh, really??

Why

I addressed this before here, but some things I’ve read recently or thought about led me to consider the question of ”why clients do it” again.

Because there seem to be several different reasons that motivate different clients.

Another reason

Although she wasn’t discussing it in this specific context, Compartments [link removed, no longer active] may have put her finger on one reason why some reviews go overboard in their evaluations of how attractive the lady was:

But once I arrive at the client’s place, I’m suddenly attractive! Under the soft light of an expensive hotel room, the lines disappear. Next to a middle-aged man who’s been shuffling paper and eating too much fast food for so many years, I look slender and fit. Under the client’s beaming gaze, I’m exquisite and desirable. They often compliment my appearance and ask if I work out! Sometimes I suspect they simply tell themselves I’m beautiful in order to justify their expense.

Whatever the case, in this so called “business,” I have to remember that the most beautiful thing about me to these aging men with money, is my YOUTH.

(emphasis added)  Ring true?  Do some clients feel uncomfortable admitting they just spent $300 on, and enjoyed spending time with, a woman who is attractive but short of “cover girl/model good looks”?

Well, not the only or the primary reason for this phenomenon . . . but perhaps contributes to it.