Intimacy

A fascinating post [link removed, no longer active] over at Compartments.  A couple of comments in particular:

When you meet somebody for the first time knowing that in about 5-10 minutes you’ll be having sex, it forms a kind of immediate bond, or at least, the illusion of one. It’s the excited feeling you get when making a new friend. Making friends takes a little longer of course. It’s like dating. You go out a few times, share your backgrounds, thoughts and ideas, and vent about the things you hate. Get drunk together a few times or some other bonding experience. Friendship takes time and effort, just like any other relationship. Think of all the one-night stands you’ve had that never panned out into anything meaningful. Bonding rituals like sex are easy, but maintaining the bond is work.

and

We’re not experts

Ever thought about how P4P reviews differ from reviews of other services and products?  Well, maybe I’m a bit strange , but I was thinking about this the other day.

A long, long time ago . . . potential customers had only word of mouth, or the seller’s marketing, to go by when dealing with a new service or product you hadn’t experienced yourself.  Someone you knew mentioned that she liked the book, or the movie trailer caught your eye, or someone raved about the new restaurant that opened up.  You had something to go on, but not necessarily a very strong basis for deciding whether to partake.  And then, at some point — I’m not sure exactly when or how – the idea of reviews arose. 

Manipulators?

One occasional topic on discussion boards, which seems to recur on a fairly regular basis, is the complaint about being “burned” or “stung” by the ladies.  Although often stated in fairly vague terms, what is meant by that seems to be that the client paid or loaned the lady a significant amount of cash, outside the context of paying the required session fee for a specific appointment, and did not get back what he expected.  When these complaints come up, they often seem to be stated in very broad terms, implying that most if not all of the ladies see men as simply a means to money and are manipulating us to get as much money as they can from us; that it’s just in their nature.

When I read such comments, although understandable when coming on the heels of such a disappointment, they strike me as sad, and cynical.  And I wonder whether they’re really representative of the experiences of most clients.  They’re not representative of my experiences . . . and I’m still not sure what would make my situation different from others.

An opportunity

One of the advantages of a holiday — the office usually clears out a little earlier as people head off for Thanksgiving.  Although I guess it’s not so much that I have more time available, since my wife will expect me home earlier as well.  But even if the available time isn’t greater, it’s shifted earlier in the day, which may help me avoid rush hour traffic.  Or will the traffice be worse with people traveling for the holidays?  Of course, a lot of the ladies may curtail their availability because of holiday plans.  LOL  Oh well, who knows?

How we select

Talk about confirming stereotypes!  A study of speed-dating, discussed here at Slate.com, found:

With the obvious qualification that we’re talking here about a four-minute version of love and dating, we found that men did put significantly more weight on their assessment of a partner’s beauty, when choosing, than women did. We also found that women got more dates when they won high marks for looks from research assistants, who were hired for the much sought-after position of hanging out in a bar to rate the dater’s level of attractiveness on a scale of one to 10.

Another board

My “Other Links” page includes links to two of the review/ad/discussion boards with a significant Texas presence: AHC and ASPD.  I’ve run across another recently.  It’s quite a bit smaller than the other two at the moment, but it’s an option for those who either are looking for something different or like to join/participate on multiple boards.  When it comes to P4P boards, WALDT (“We All Like Different Things”) – some may prefer ASPD, others may prefer AHC, others may prefer this board.  No right or wrong, just preference.  The members of this new board seem to be mostly in Texas, but as with most boards they probably are open to like-minded people from wherever.  It is private, however — that is, only members can access it even to read — and requires screening/verification before you can join, to ensure that you are legit.

For those interested in applying, here’s a link to their screening page.  I’m also adding to the “Other Links” page.

I’d insert a banner, but that’s probably beyond my technological capabilities.

The boundaries of “White Knight Syndrome”

I’ve seen it described various ways. 

• “A member who constantly defends his favorite provider.” 
• “Members who blindly stand up for any (and every) provider or bash a fellow member who makes a mistake, in order to make himself look more favorable in a provider’s or the board’s eyes.” 
• “A hobbyist who will post or say anything to look better in the eyes of the provider. The so called ‘whiteknight’ would usually ride into town, spit in the face of fellow hobbiest, and then explain that he was only doing it to protect *****.”
• “White Knights are motivated to extend their personal mileage today even if it means throwing another guy under the bus to do it.”
• “A White Knight is someone that conducts themselves on the board in such a way as that their loyalty is to the ladies rather than the brotherhood.”

Well, such definitions are, necessarily, imprecise.  To some extent, like Potter Stewart’s famous remark about obscenity, we all think “I know it when I see it.”

But it’s used rather loosely at times and sometimes the boundaries between WKS and behavior we should encourage are less clear.  A recent illustration:

Websites

I browse ladies’ websites from time to time, even if I’m not contemplating pursuing an appointment, just to get a better sense of some of the local members of the community.  Consider it electronic “people watching” — or voyeurism. Today I ran across a website that does a good job, better than most, of achieving that seductive GFE tone that a lot of ladies don’t seem to do very effectively.  Her website is impressive in that respect.  Well written, with subtle but enticing text; easy links to reviews; good selection of pictures.  Even a “Why do you feel we would be compatible?” question (optional) on her contact form, promoting the idea (also in the intro text) that the connection is very important in her encounters.  In many respects, one of the best escort websites I can recall.

Then I clicked around the site and stumbled on this:

Respect

This sort of discussion sometimes drives me nuts.  Primarily because there are so many red herring arguments tossed around.  Such as “since society looks down on P4P, and it involves all these ‘nasty’ activities, why demand respect” or “if the women are asking to be treated with respect, that means they aren’t willing to face the reality of what we do here or have self-esteem problems.”  Or “using terms like whore and bitch is just honesty.”  (OK, some ladies are not offended by the former instead of “courtesan” or “escort”; but the latter??  What makes a lady who works in P4P a “bitch”?  Did I miss that explanation somewhere?  To me, that seems disrespectful even in private expressed in the heat of passion, let alone expressed publicly.)  Or “stating things in a respectful manner = political correctness.”  Certainly the responses by Sophie and Jayden refute those red herrings, in my estimation.  (Even if Jayden hadn’t complimented me in the process. )  Charli, leluh, Phredsfrnd, and Iaintlien also has some thoughtful comments.  Their responses shouldn’t even be necessary; most people should understand that already.

But there’s a point of view for this sort of debate that I don’t see very often:

Time

A pet peeve of mine: comments like these from an ASPD thread:

stayed over 2hrs…..only left 1hr pay (with no mention of it)

There is a small chance that he enjoyed your company so much that he stayed late and did not have the balance on him; however, proper etiquette dicates that he address the situation before leaving (“You’ll find the envelope is a little light, but I ejoyed myself so much I couldn’t stop… I will get the balance to you in a day or so”)

Wait a minute!