Verisimilitude

I’ve been reading some “escort blogs” recently — Compartments, Clandestine Call Girl, fallen girl falling, Call Girl Next Door, and Miss Employed in Minneapolis.  One nice thing (or bad thing, depending on your perspective) is that they apparently are written anonymously such that their clients probably do not know about or read the blog.  And consequently, they can dispense with some of the illusion.  It gives the reader an interesting window on life as a provider.

Scheduling woes

I think I’ve run out of providers to see for an early morning appointment, which means I’m back to trying “nooners.”  That narrows the field a little bit, because in addition to the normal difficulties associated with a “nooner,” it just doesn’t work well with providers who aren’t punctual.  More importantly, though, that’s a very popular time slot for a lot of guys.  With a popular provider, you have to schedule well in advance.  There’s one I’ve been unable to hook up with even scheduling a week ahead, and I’m a little bit reluctant to try scheduling two weeks ahead.

I’m going to have to expand my pool of ladies to see, or I’m going to find myself involuntarily retired.

Evolution

Threads on a discussion board often develop along totally different directions than intended.  Case in point: the Hobbyist “Hall of Fame” thread referenced in the last entry.  It started out as ”nominations by providers of the hobbyists that are extra special to the girls.”  It has already expanded to include:

• Hobbyists who are special to the hobby community, including the guys, for other reasons
• Wish lists: hobbyists whom the nominating provider has never met but would like to
• Providers who are “special”

No telling where it will develop next. 

Hobbyist “Hall of Fame” ?????

I am a little bit surprised about this thread on ASPD.  I will really be surprised if very many providers post a few favorites publicly.  (Or even someplace like Girl Talk if it really leaks as much as Turnover Bubble claims.)  Too much potential for disappointing all the other clients they told “you’re one of my favorites.” 

For the record, my feelings wouldn’t  be hurt.  There’s only one provider whom I would expect to name me in her top five favorites — and be surprised/disappointed if she didn’t — but she is unlikely to read ASPD, let alone post to that thread.    But there are some guys on ASPD with fragile egos . . . .

Delays

The hobby is not like an ordinary business, where someone is at the place of business every day from 8 to 7.  Well, some providers may be.    But many of them have other things they’re doing during the day and just go to the incall shortly before the scheduled appointment.   Alas, whether because of not managing their time well, or misjudging how long something else will take, or because “real life” intrudes . . . providers are not always punctual.  With some, the starting time for the appointment may frequently slip by a significant amount of time. 

If they can anticipate and notify the client before he leaves work/home/wherever he’s coming from . . . it may not be a big problem, if his schedule has some flexibility.  I really hate to cancel in a situation like that, even though a change in the time may be inconvenient.  She may have relied on the appointment to her detriment, and cancelling could cost her (out-of-pocket for the incall and/or opportunity cost of another session she passed up).  Not to mention that, regardless of whose fault it is, the hobbyist may get a reputation for late cancellations.  But sometimes, it goes beyond inconvenient to impossible, and I can’t change my schedule to accommodate. 

Even worse is if the provider can’t anticipate and notify the client before he leaves work, or even before the scheduled start time.  Then he may wind up sitting in his car at the incall, waiting for her to show up.  It’s not just the waste of time while I sat twiddling my thumbs, or the fact that I would be away from work for substantially more time than I’d planned and could afford.  (You should never throw good money after bad, but I always found it difficult to apply that principle in the context of time and the hobby.)  I also always felt very conspicuous and worried that people would notice me and be suspicous.  That’s a very uncomfortable feeling, even if the wait is only 10 minutes.  On top of that, all the time I was sitting and waiting, at the back of my mind would be the fear that she might not show at all, and my trip would wasted. Even if she made it, the awareness of being over schedule can make you nervous and contribute to performance problems.

It didn’t happen to me a lot, but there were two providers with whom it was not at all uncommon for me to wait for an extended time: half an hour to an hour often, once over an hour and a half.  Yikes!  (Although one of the two sometimes offered an ad hoc discount to make up for it.)  A couple of those instances wound up as cancellations – and arguably a provider cancellation after you’ve already arrived and waited at the incall is equivalent in effect to a no-show. (My interpretation: even if you manage to reach the provider and she says she can’t make it, if that communication doesn’t occur until you’ve arrived at the incall, it is a “no-show.” I’ve had a few of those that didn’t involve these delays waiting at the incall.)

At the end of the day, it’s one of those facts of life that you deal with in the hobby. You either accept it, or you stop seeing the provider who is frequently late. There are a fair number; it’s not just the two I experienced it with. Jeannine, for example, was notorious for that. (I never scheduled with her.)

I’m not certain whether all of those providers realize how difficult it is for some of us to change our schedule on short notice and be away for longer because of the waiting time.

Providers publicly complaining about hobbyists

For all the occasional uproar about provider complaints posted publicly on ASPD, some are received very positively and can even enhance the provider’s reputation.  Witness this thread by Caitie Mae about a client who spooked her (and also wrote a critical review).  Nothing but positive responses and praise.  And has been pointed out by others, a lot of popular ladies have posted rants/complaints without backlash.   GUC, Lana, Ashley Ash, Tabitha, Savanna, the original Jenna all come to mind.

It certainly helps to avoid the backlash if the providers is: (a) attractive; (b) popular; (c) articulate; and (d) capable of a twinge of wit or humor to leaven the complaint.  At one time, I thought absence of (a) and (b) was the cause of the backlash.  I still think that’s probably true [*], although (c) and (d) may be more relevant than I realized.  Some guys recently have commented that the divas seem unhappy with their job and are directing anger at clients as a result.  I don’t know if I read the comments the same way . . . and I think the reaction would still be different depending on who posted the complaints.

[*]  Note that (c) and (d) were usually demonstrated by Lana, Savanna, Jenna, and Caitie; less frequently by GUC, Ashley, and Tabitha.  The absence of significant backlash against the latter demonstrates that (a) and (b) must explain a lot about guys’ reaction.

Time to give it a rest?

My enthusiasm for the hobby seems to be dwindling away, and I’m feeling more and more like a fungible wallet and/or the invisible man. It might reach the point of scheduling appointments because I can (“since I have time and money available, I need to take advantage of it”), rather than because I really want to see a particular lady.  [*]  (I may have done that occasionally without really thinking about it.) Sounds pretty pathetic, doesn’t it? But I wonder if that isn’t more common among hobbyists than we perhaps realize.

Maybe this is just a temporary mood. We’ll see.

{*] Edited to add: Partly that I don’t feel a strong urge to see a particular lady. That’s a bad sign for me, because I look for more from a session than just anonymous sex and the physical sensations; it may not be unusual or “pathetic” for a lot of guys who have a different attitude toward the hobby. But also partly that I might schedule a session without even feeling a need or urge for sex at all; just a desire to take advantage of an opportunity, and possibly reacting to stress or a “down” feeling. That’s definitely pathetic, that I choose a particular activity out of habit rather than because it’s what I necessarily really want to do. In my opinion.

Visuals

The conventional wisdom, I think, is that men respond sexually to visual stimulation more than women do.  But over the past few years, that seems to be less the case for me.  By this I mean more than that, while I don’t see providers whom I don’t find attractive, physical attractiveness is not enough.  That’s part of it, I guess, but there is more.  I certainly still enjoy, very much, seeing a good looking woman.  To a degree drastically different from my youth, though, the enjoyment feels not so much “sexual” (that is, engendering thoughts of having sex with her) as an almost abstract, free-floating appreciation of beauty.

Yes, I am sexually attracted to some of the women who are beautiful.  But the percentage of good looking women I see to whom I am sexually attracted has declined drastically in recent years.  Visual stimulation may still influence the attraction, but evidently it’s not as important a factor.

Which begs the question “what factors are influencing sexual attraction for you”?  As to that . . . I’m not sure; a bit puzzled, to tell the truth.  Something to think about.

I’m not describing this very well at all, but I think I’ll leave this entry here rather than waiting until I have a better handle on it.

In a nutshell

A thread over at AHC captures it succintly.  Title of thread: Lukewarm Scheduling commitment.  Sub-heading: Looking for business or not?  This is a common complaint/reaction I’ve heard from lots of guys over the years (not with respect to this particular lady, but in general).  I know that some providers are skittish about returning messages, even by email, and sometimes providers (especially new ones) get overwhelmed by the volume of inquiries.  Sometimes providers decide to take some time off or may just not want a session.  Some messages may be rude and impolite, such that the provider doesn’t feel obligated to respond.  Not to mention that some messages may get lost.  But prospective clients usually don’t see any of that.  They see only that the provider did not respond — let alone respond enthusiastically — to their request for an appointment. 

That doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to be angry at the provider; she is entitled to run her business any way she sees fit and decline any client or appointment she doesn’t want to see.  But a lot of guys, if they don’t get some slight encouragement to continue trying, will move on. This is the same principle, but on a smaller scale of course, as a no-show/no-call. Fewer guys will move on quickly than would do so for a NSNC . . . but quite a few will still do so. As mentioned in that AHC thread, “too many other eager ladies out there.” (Side note: the likelihood of a particular guy moving on probably varies with the number of other providers he considers acceptable substitutes. But “acceptable substitutes” for some guys may include not only other providers but also fewer hobby appointments?)

What’s surprising is that, based on how often it happens, a lot of providers don’t seem to realize this and/or to care.

Doubles sessions

I’ve only tried doubles sessions three times, all F/M/F.  Once in the late 70’s, when I was mid to late 20’s, that was kinda nice — I think.  (My memory is a bit dim concerning those days.)  Once in 2002.  Once about a year ago.  The last two didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped, I think because I was already experiencing performance problems and not being able to prolong the fun long enough to fully enjoy the advantages of a doubles sessions.